Never in a million years did I ever think I would utter these next few words, but… I miss University *shudders*.
For those of you that know me well, you will know that I HATED uni. For one, I personally believe I chose the wrong university for my degree. As a small uni, there were specific subjects that were their subjects – and it wasn’t english. At most, I had 4 hours of actual teaching a week, and even then the lecturer was simply reading through a powerpoint that I could have read at home (yeah that’s right, I actually got out of my pyjamas for that! I wanted MORE).
Secondly, I didn’t feel my course was taken seriously. As a subject, english and creative writing is subjective (woah,subject-ception). So why were we constantly being told our stories were wrong? Yes, by all means grade me on my style, on my grammar and on my craft, but please DO NOT tell me that my concept for the story is wrong. There is free reign in writing, yet we were held on a leash.
Thirdly, my three years at university, personally, were the worst three of my life. I lost friends, I was found by the person I least wanted to be found by, I had a housemate try and take her life in front of my very eyes, and it was exhausting. But this isn’t a sorry sob story, because I did have some good times – I also met some great friends, I met my wonderful boyfriend (Hi Charlie), gained my independence and had some great opportunties. But I must admit, the bad outweighed the good, and as university neared to an end I just couldn’t wait for it to be finished.
Oh, ho, ho. How naiive I was. I have now been a graduate for 7 months. I have moved even further away from home, I accepted a typical 9-5 job to earn me some money (and hated every minute may I add), and I feel lost. Suddenly, my purpose has gone. No longer do I have deadlines to meet, set tasks to do, the student loan or the support of a big community like the univerity. For those adults among you, you’re probably thinking ‘Yes, Lauren. But this is the real world now! It’s time to grow up’. I get that, but it doesn’t make it any easier – because you know those breakdowns at uni that we all have (mine specifically included crying and Ben & Jerries)? Well….lets just say I think i’ve kept B&J’s in business these past 7 months.
All of a sudden I’ve realised that a degree isn’t everything. For me to get the job I want, I need to do the dirty work for a bit. I need to do interning, and I need to WRITE. Thankfully, now a few more opportunities are coming my way, life is getting better. But, it’s still a struggle, and the thoughts of ‘Shall I do a masters’ or ‘ Should I do a PGCE course’ float through my mind. I don’t WANT to do these things, but I want the stability of university life back.
So for those like me who are missing university (eugh, I said it again), this is the time for small steps. One opportunity can lead to another, but we need to be patient and then IT WILL GET BETTER!